


A Fire in the Snow

by KAMbam



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-07
Updated: 2014-03-07
Packaged: 2018-01-14 22:09:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1280602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KAMbam/pseuds/KAMbam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren and Jean deal with their usual rivalry while also dealing with the horrors of the world around them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Fire in the Snow

The way the filth filtered snow under Eren’s feet melted sent an icy rich breeze into his lungs, a long awaited release from the ever arid scent of the Trost district. The miraculous weather was the greatest source of hope for the trainees, and something Eren never expected would be his undoing.

            The snow was something only dreamed about in ancient minds, only written about in the thick leather bound book that Armin always kept under his rackety bed. The snow was a story only remembered a century back, the last time anyone claimed to have seen it. But it came, and it could only be seen by the trainees as the greatest gift mankind had received in decades. Eren was sure as well that the deeply religious “wall-worshipers”, as many of the trainees liked to call them, would see it as a gift from their God. And maybe they were right. If anything could have given Eren hope it was the snow. It wasn’t the glowing white, six foot deep and cloudy blizzard that was written about in Armin’s stories, but that didn’t matter. What mattered was that the mythical white rain existed, and if that was real, then maybe the massive, churning blue oceans were too. And then maybe even the mountains existed as well, which probably had even _more_ snow on them.

            He was happy. No, more than happy. He was in bliss. Nothing could shake normally hot-headed Eren’s jubilance, not even the titans. Except of course for _that_ sly-eyed idiot.

            “What the hell is this worthless white crap doing here?!” Jean complained in rage, kicking the pasty fluff out of his path outside the barracks.

            “Hey! Watch your mouth horse face, this is the best thing to happen to us since you got injured getting your ass kicked in combat training!”

            “Not as badly as _you_ got _your_ ass kicked by Annie.”

            “At least I don’t talk in my sleep.”

            “At least I don’t drool in my sleep.”

            “Why were you watching me sleep?” He continued to bicker.

            Jean’s eyes grew wide with embarrassment and he turned away to hide his increasingly red face. “I-I wasn’t watching you sleep.” He mumbled. “You just make loud noises when you drool!”

            “Stop fighting, you two.” Mikasa grumbled, burying her bright red lips under the warm embrace of her scarf.

            “He started it!” Eren barked.

            “I did not!” Jean yelled, grabbing at Eren’s shirt.

            “Stop it!” Armin nagged, doing his best to shove the two of them apart. “You’re gonna get us in trouble.”

            Eren and jean ran every possible consequence of the confrontation through their heads, knowing that their pointless fighting wouldn’t help anyone. Eren jerked away from Jean’s grip and stampeded away from everyone, irreverently swiping at his clothes as if Jean’s touch was filthy. Armin and Mikasa jogged to catch up to him.

            “You shouldn’t fight like that.” Armin warned him. “Especially so close to graduation.”

            “I can’t stand that guy.” He hissed, even though deep down he knew Armin was right, it couldn’t possibly be good to get in trouble right before the rankings. If Eren ever wanted to get into the survey corps it would take a lot more than a first-rate fighting resume. Being on his best behavior was less than a choice and more of a necessity at the moment.

 

            When the soldier’s rankings finally came in, Eren was excited to see that he had placed in the top ten of the regiment and even more delighted to find he was ranked higher than Jean. Odd- he thought - that he could find such joy from winning a silent competition between enemies. As much as he would like to be able to hold himself higher than petty rivalries, he couldn’t deny that it felt good, especially now that he had genuine proof that he was better.

            In the mess hall that night, after all the glorious snow had dissipated into the air to prepare for the next morning’s dew, the training squad members all sat down for what would be the last time many of them shared a meal together. The wooden benches and tables creaked as the dozens of trainees took their seats, talking and laughing amongst themselves, some cheering for their success and some moping in their failure.

            The top ten trainees sat at the center bench, chomping down on the celebratory dinner and rejoicing together, sharing their hopes for the future. Most of the trainees still didn’t seem to be sure of where to put themselves, not that there were many options. If you were in the top ten, you had the choice to join the Military Police, a cowardly group of lazy do-nothings who sat inside all day twiddling their thumbs and picking their noses. Exceptionally crazed individuals who wished for nothing but death and suffering joined the Survey Corps, a group for people just like that- crazy. And everyone else who didn’t wish to sort themselves on either side of the scale would be funneled into the Garrison, the group of soldiers who spent their time guarding and maintaining the Walls. Many of the other trainees had no problem displaying their discomfort in making their choice, but for Eren, there was no other option than the survey corps.

            “So do you know what _you’re_ joining, Jaeger?” Jean pressed, half out of egotistical spite but also half interested.

            “I’m joining the survey corps.” Eren spoke plainly, as if the question itself was the most idiotic thing he’d heard.

            “The survey corps?!” Jean choked. “Are you crazy?!”

            “Not all of us are cowards like you.” Eren hissed. “I can bet you’re gonna look to join the military police.”

            “Yeah, and not all of us are stupid.”

            “Why’d you join the military then?” Eren questioned. “If you don’t care about humanity why would you even bother?”

            ”Just because I’m not as eager to get myself killed as you doesn’t mean I’m a coward. The military police do their job too.”

            “If their job is kissing the King’s ass and doing nothing then sure. Other than that they’re useless.” Eren teased. “Thinking about it, you’ll fit in just fine.”

            “Are you trying to start a fight, Jaeger?!” Jean shouted, grabbing at his collar again. For someone who was so eager to get into conflict, Eren was wondering why _he_ was the one everyone thought was hot-headed and not Jean.

            Reiner instantly stepped between the two before their childish moaning could escalate any further. “Calm down, you two.” He said. “Eren, if Jean wants to join the Military Police it’s his choice, even if that does make him a coward.”

            “Hey!” Jean grumbled.

            “And Jean, even if Eren is crazy, it’s his choice too.” He continued. “So either take your bickering outside or get a room.”

            Once again they found themselves contemplating their fighting. What were they really getting out of it? Jean seemed to be able to take everyone’s staring and judgment better while Eren stormed out of the room and out onto the steps of the barracks.

            He sat on the bottom step, moving his fingers through the icy dirt that so recently had hosted the miracle of snow. He wondered if he’d ever be lucky enough to see it again, if his friends would be there too. It brought hope but not as much as it did before, because now he realized the chances of it were slim. Death was too common, too expected. He found himself now fearing the snow, because to him the snow meant time, and time could only mean death.

            He heard commotion coming from behind him, back inside the mess hall. Snapping footsteps soon echoed closer and closer until he heard a voice speak out.

            “Hey, Jaeger.” Jean muttered unconfidently, awkwardly rubbing his neck.

            “What do you want?” Eren groaned, all enthusiasm for their rivalry seeming to escape him.

            “I wanted to…uh…I wanted to apologize.” Jean mumbled. “I guess I kinda started that one, wasn’t too cool of me.”

            “Apologizing doesn’t seem much like you.”

            “We all have to grow up sometimes.” Jean stated. “And I think everyone was right.”

            “What do you mean?”

            “They all think we should stop fighting all the time. I don’t blame them. It’s getting a little old if you ask me.” Jean huffed.

            “Oh no, you’re not taking credit for that.” Eren growled. “I’ve wanted to stop fighting way before _you_ did.”

            “Did not!” Jean whined.  

            “You’re the one who always starts things.” Eren griped, standing on the steps to reach jean face to face, staring him down intently.

            “What about now?” Jean stiffened up. “I just came to apologize and you’re already trying to fight me.”

            Eren calmed down for a moment, realizing the irony but still not ready to back down. Jean’s eyes grew wide as he stared into Eren’s scorching eyes, only inches from his own. Jean stumbled backward in embarrassment, blushing as he tripped and began to fall from the step. Eren immediately reached out with cat-like reflexes, grabbing onto Jean’s wrist and tugging him forward with ease. Jean’s body went flying back onto the steps, colliding into Eren’s chest and knocking both of them onto the creaking birch steps.

            Eren pushed Jean away with matched embarrassment, mumbling and stuttering curses. “What the hell, man?!” He flushed.

            “Uh-I-Uh….I fell!” Jean murmured in humiliation, blushing as he ran away from the red-faced kid still crutched up against the stairway.

            Eren sat in wide-eyed confusion as he shook his head in shame, shaking away the haunting image of Jean’s golden brown eyes and his soft, pursed lips and replaced them with undetermined rage. He gently brought his fingers to his steaming face, a fire in the snow.

           

           

           


End file.
